Our ministry
Has a vacancy
We’re looking for
The right appointee
 
For supervision
And observation
Inside the Ministry
Of Imaginary Problems
  
The Minister will oversee with great dedication
A vast and highly specialized operation:
 
 
The Service for Alarming and Concerned Communication.
The Central Office for Forgotten Thought Investigation.
 
And many more divisions beneath the dome
Of the Ministry of Imaginary Problems.
 
 We’ve got endless cases
Stacked in endless files
Major complications
Measured mile by mile
 
If we need more trouble
We’ll create a few
Working around the clock
Like professionals do
   
The position’s open
Since the previous man
Got a little clever
And ruined our plans
 
Out of boredom
One bright morning
He solved every problem
Without a warning
 
The ideal candidate
Must be certified
To worry all day long
With professional pride
 
A natural talent
For imaginary fears
Finding signs of danger
Where nothing appears
 
The Minister will oversee with great dedication
A vast and highly specialized operation:
 
The Bureau of Delays Without Explanation.
The Commission for Reports Without Application.
 
And many more divisions beneath the dome
Of the Ministry of Imaginary Problems.
  
The position’s open
Since the previous man
Got a little clever
And ruined our plans
 
Out of boredom
One bright morning
He solved every problem
Without a warning
 
The ideal candidate
Must be certified
To worry all day long
With professional pride
 
A natural talent
For imaginary fears
Finding signs of danger
Where nothing appears
 

We remain extremely vigilant… Whenever everything seems perfectly fine… That’s actually…HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS…